Change Don't Come Easy

I'm fighting a battle that I know won't last forever, but it is a tough battle. I've decided to change my lifestyle completely, for the better. The only thing that has been troubling me has been the fact that a few people aren't too cool about it and I've lost some friends because of it. Last night I learned that with this change some people are going to fall by the way side, some will not want to see me change, and some people will hate just because they can. What I have to do is keep moving forward, and keep on the path and know that this battle won't always last.

I went home for the Christmas and I was so happy to be home and surrounded by family and old friends. It really centered me again. My brother has been diagnosed with cancer but he's still the same man, with the same attitude. Mom is still my Mom, and My Dad and I actually hugged each other and told each other that we love each other. That means a lot to me, because my Dad and I never really did that while I was growing up.

I do feel good about this change that I'm doing , but it is very hard mentally on me. I pray so hard not to fuck up and not let what people say or my inner-self get the best of me. Everyday that I don't have a drink, or I'm tempted to put trash in my body...and I think about what the outcome will be by not putting it in my body and I move forward. I pray everyday not to give in to what going on around me and so far so good.

I don't regret anything that's happened to me, or that I've done to others because I know that everything happens for a reason and those things had to happen so that I could get here. Now I want to just live in the moment and make the best of those moments, without judgement and without fear.

October I decided to change and now it's January 2015 and I'm still going strong. I can do this!