The Uphill Battle

I'm on week two of the body transformation and it has been good and very hard. Although I'm only on week two, each week brings about something new and the slow changes have to be made. Last week I begin amping up my workouts and paying very close to my nutrition, which is the most important part for me. I should start by saying that I love food...food has always been there for me whenever I've needed it. I was once 250 lbs and now I'm l95 lbs. This change has happened over a course of 2 1/2 years. Some lose weight quicker than others and I've gotten down to 160..but that was because I was a vegetarian and running like crazy. I never want to be that size again.

My goal is to be the lean and fit! I've been bulking up for the last two months and now I'm starting to lean myself up for the coming spring and summer. I've got all winter to work on myself, but it's not easy and I've had a few setbacks, but for the past two weeks I've been really good to myself. I've had some peer pressure moments but I haven't let them effect me too much and that's good too. I've intensified my workout and I've been working hard to make each gym session really count. I've learned this week alone that when I'm full I don't have to finish my plate, and too pay attention to when I'm really hungry or just bored. I find that when I'm home alone like this I get really bored and I want to eat, but I'm not really hungry. I've been killing my craving by eating peanut butter before I go to sleep and drinking lots of water. That early morning piss is one long piss! I've cut back my social activities a lot, and the other evening that came to a head when I friend told me I was "shady" because I don't show up to event anymore. A lot of my not attending has to do with work, studying, gym, and dating. I'm trying to change my habits and it's hard because there are times when I want to be out with the crowd and around friends, but I don't want to be drunk, or overly tired the next day, and it's not good for what I'm trying to achieve with myself. I don't like being called "shady" but I understand that when you're trying to do better sometimes it takes other people to get use to what you're doing.

Another reason I'm amping up my workouts is because my Brother is fighting his battle with cancer and it's knocked my workouts up more because I want to be the best that I can be for him too.

I'm more motivated than I've ever been before and I plan to keep it up. I stood in the mirror tonight to see if I could see some changes and I see some small things happening. I'm praying to stay strong in this effort, and keep the momentum up.


I'm making my way uphill...I will be victorious.