Tea, Coffee, and Protein Bars in a Garden of Roses.

I want to squeeze out this post before I go to sleep...

Hey world, it's me, Tyree...

I'm still evolving...

This past weekend and week so far has been really good, and reaffirming. I celebrate my 1 year anniversary on my journey in total defining my body and taking control over one of my biggest issues that I've been having with myself for years. Realizing that I've tackled so many things in a year, and posting a picture of my progress to show others out there going through the same struggle what discipline can do for you. I'm not on some crazy diet fad, or television workout routine. I'm just eating right, and exercising, and being really consistent about it. I looked at the picture and I was astounded at how far I've come. Where I was a year ago, and where I'm at now in my fitness goal is wonderful and it shows that I'm dedicated to the whole process of refining who I am.

This past weekend I spent some time with my Ex, Peter. A lot of people are not aware that I've been spending time with him. Last year as I said in a previous blog, He and I went an entire year not speaking to each other after what happened the summer before. For years we've been back and forth with where we are. This time we are building a solid friendship and last saturday we realized how important we are for each other. Not as couple, but as true friends. We've had many ups and downs, and he and I've both dated other people in-between. This weekend we talked about each of our different relationships after the end of our relationship and it was very eye opening for both of us. A lot of reflecting on what we both need as individuals in a relationship. As of late I've haven't had anyone to talk to about how I feel about my love life and where it's really headed. Pete, has become that outlet for me. As we were wrapping up our evening down in the East Village, we popped into a neat little outside diner. I asked him "How do you know that you're ready for a relationship" in which he replied "Ty, are you ready for a relationship." Before I could respond, my mind said "If you want a real friendship, Tyree you're going to have to be OPEN, and honest, don't give an answer you want someone to hear." My answer..is...I don't know. I've become so invested in myself as of late, rediscovering myself, learning new things, and building my confidence back up. What I'm so scared about is fucking this whole process up with a relationship, I don't want to fail at another relationship, and it's really made me scared to be in one. Also how do I learn to be invested in someone, and the growth of "us" and still take care of myself, and still follow my routine? Pete, gave me some really good advice, he told me how "Wide eyed" I was when I first moved here, and I really needed time to adjust to the city and the men here. He could tell I was finding my groove here and he was really proud of me, but he was also able to impart some good advice for me. I just have to balance everything, and be OPEN about what I'm doing and communicate that to my Boyfriend or Partner.

Where I'd like to be is in a friendship, that will blossom into a relationship. I want someone to learn about me, and I learn about them. Actually, date. No rushed sex, no co-habitation. Everything happens so fast here, that I want to slow the process down. Get to know me, be patient with me, and vice versa. Build a strong bond. I'm wrapping up my 20's and for me I'm looking to be able to build a steady relationship with a guy, that will lead to a future as "US" and "WE." But right now patience. I'm not out looking for someone to cuff with for the winter months ahead, or a mr. right now. In December I'll have been single for a FULL year...and I've been loving it. I've dated, and gone out on dates, all good, some shady, but good learning lessons. Just finding what fits for me. I went on my first date in 3 months today, it was really nice. We met for...tea, and coffee, and protein bar...yes PROTEIN bars. We sat in a garden and got to know each other. I was...very surprised. Similar backgrounds, and taste in life. We will see. Nothing is set in stone. He almost canceled the date, and I was this close from going "ghost" and acting like I forgot we discussed meeting each other today out of fear that this wasn't something I needed to do. Turns out we needed to meet other after all. Maybe this is a good friendship that's being made that might turn into more. Either way the groundwork for whatever is to happen...and it's good either way...has been laid down.


Here's to my future.

PEACE AND LOVE

P.S. Who would've thought I'd be at this place in my life? Not me. Loving this growth and process.

MUCHO KISSES WORLD! I'm going to sip on this bedtime tea and pass the hell out! MUCH LOVE!

Finding Me.

At the end of a pretty solid week. This has been a really good week. Where do I begin? Where do I begin? I've been doing a lot of personal housekeeping. It's so weird, this week I walked into Bath,& Body Works, A store I couldn't stand to go in because of the smells, and I bought candles, and all kinds of scents. Afterwards I walked into Bed, Bath, and Beyond and bought all new pillows for my bed. Much needed I must say. Also the next day I decided that it was just time to overhaul my whole wardrobe. I'm a man that is really a Gym life kinda guy and I've got plenty of gym clothing to prove it, but it baffled me that I don't have any collar dress shirts, and slacks that fit me properly. So what did I do? I went online and bought dress shirts, and slacks for myself.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?!?! hahaha

All of these subtle changes that I'm making for myself. I do feel a new sense of TRUE independence for myself. Taking care of myself. I'm trying to change things up slowly. This is all baby steps for me. I'm ready for this. I like it.

I'm on Day 19 of my little challenge, and feeling good about myself and where I'm at. Last night I went to support a co-worker of mine down in the East Village and afterwards I had an impromptu dinner with a co-worker that I never get to hangout with, and I got to know them a lot better. What I took away from last evening was that if you want support from people you've got to get out and give support too. Also not to judge someones work personality. I was blown away by how cool, and calm my co-worker was outside of work. What I appreciated the most by the dinner was that someone was interested about this journey/transformation that I'm on. It made it a lot easier to open up about what I'm doing, and sharing why I'm doing this. It felt good to have someone listen and not judge me. Also give me some good advice, and to keep doing what I'm doing. I needed to here that. After that I decided to go on a long walk, so I put my headphones on and listened to music and just walked along the streets to the West Village, actually started tearing up, and I don't like crying at all, but it was the first time I realized that I'm healing myself. I've been going though some dark dark dark times, and these dark clouds that have been hanging over me are all clearing up. It just felt so good to be releasing it all.

This is not an easy road for me, and yes I walk it alone. I've had to learn to let go of my past the things I've done, and the things that have been done to me. Realizing I'm the healthiest I've EVER been, I'm no longer doing a lot of things, and subtracting a lot of b.s. out of my life.

The other week I took a friend to a really nice lounge and he was blown away by it all. He looked at me and he said "I see you in places like this. I see you living around this area. It's good to see you placing yourself around these people, you're even introducing me to new possibilities of my life." That was great to hear.

I'm on the road of change and more changes are coming for me. We all grown and learn at our own pace. I've lived two different lives in my 20's and as I wrap my 20's up I'm looking forward to really finding my groove here. I'm enjoying this ride.

Loving all music again, and sticking to my goals and plans.

MUCH LOVE AND PEACE!

-TYREE

The Man That's Been Laying Dormant Inside.

Hello, bloggers.

Sorry, I didn't post last week. I've been crazy busy with new things and a lot of changes going on. So I've officially started my 60 Day Challenge. I don't want to go into a lot of details about what that is or what it entails right now. I feel like if I tell you all about it that it my come off very boring, although it's been really hard for me. Anyways...life is on a huge up swing, lots of good things are happening and man it feels so good.

Two weeks ago I was back home in Alabama and it felt so good to be home and amongst family. With that I was closing an old chapter in my life and I was making plans on starting a new chapter. So far so good. I've decided to take my chances and dive right into Fitness Modeling, and going into more commercial work. Yes, I'm putting musical theatre on hold for right now. I've got to go where I seem to be getting a good chunk of my work from. Having always booked Shakespeare shows, plays, and commercial work it seems that this is just fitting for me right now. I spent last year really bummed about an audition process that I went through, and now I'm just looking at what my options outside of stage work. Thanks to the power of instagram and those crazy hashtags (used for the right purpose.) I've been handed some awesome opportunities from fitness clothing lines and other personal trainers. As you can tell I'm really into this fitness lifestyle. I'm just now trying to find a way to combine this lifestyle and parlay that into a successful career in entertainment. College really didn't prepare me for this. I've got the acting part down, but now with the assistance of a coach we are working to build myself into my own mogul, basically seeing myself and image as a business.

With all of that I've had to really change stuff around on my social media outlets and being careful of what I say or put out there on social media. I've not done anything crazy, or said anything against anyone, but just covering my basics.

My fitness game has been on LOCK. It's insane. I don't have the time to mess around with anyone. I've stopped taking clients at the moment to put more focus on my own body. I work two jobs to support myself, and I've been grinding it out like nobodies business. Still finding time to relax when I can. I feel like I'm starting to find my groove in many ways. I don't want pretend to be something I'm not, I don't want to be out crazy late, I don't want to be caught up or out there. All my focus and energy is being poured into unlocking THIS person that's been inside of me for so long. I've always had this image in my brain of who I'm supposed to be. My best friend back home was saying this about himself and I totally related it to it. I see this image of who I am and what I'm here to do. Now its about putting in the work, and laying the ground work down.

I'm 11 days into my challenge and the first week was crazy hard, I got through it though with my will power. Each week it's something new, but I've had a lot of clarity and that's good. I'm so happy for everybody and wanting everyone to succeed, but I'm also taking b.s. from anyone either. I don't want for anything. I'm just in a really really good spot right now, and I'm pleased. I don't regret anything that I've ever done, I'm through with sorries, and things that I thought the past had control over, because the past has no real control over me. I shook those things off and kept going with my life. Feels good.

That's all for now.

LOVE AND PEACE!