Tea, Coffee, and Protein Bars in a Garden of Roses.

I want to squeeze out this post before I go to sleep...

Hey world, it's me, Tyree...

I'm still evolving...

This past weekend and week so far has been really good, and reaffirming. I celebrate my 1 year anniversary on my journey in total defining my body and taking control over one of my biggest issues that I've been having with myself for years. Realizing that I've tackled so many things in a year, and posting a picture of my progress to show others out there going through the same struggle what discipline can do for you. I'm not on some crazy diet fad, or television workout routine. I'm just eating right, and exercising, and being really consistent about it. I looked at the picture and I was astounded at how far I've come. Where I was a year ago, and where I'm at now in my fitness goal is wonderful and it shows that I'm dedicated to the whole process of refining who I am.

This past weekend I spent some time with my Ex, Peter. A lot of people are not aware that I've been spending time with him. Last year as I said in a previous blog, He and I went an entire year not speaking to each other after what happened the summer before. For years we've been back and forth with where we are. This time we are building a solid friendship and last saturday we realized how important we are for each other. Not as couple, but as true friends. We've had many ups and downs, and he and I've both dated other people in-between. This weekend we talked about each of our different relationships after the end of our relationship and it was very eye opening for both of us. A lot of reflecting on what we both need as individuals in a relationship. As of late I've haven't had anyone to talk to about how I feel about my love life and where it's really headed. Pete, has become that outlet for me. As we were wrapping up our evening down in the East Village, we popped into a neat little outside diner. I asked him "How do you know that you're ready for a relationship" in which he replied "Ty, are you ready for a relationship." Before I could respond, my mind said "If you want a real friendship, Tyree you're going to have to be OPEN, and honest, don't give an answer you want someone to hear." My answer..is...I don't know. I've become so invested in myself as of late, rediscovering myself, learning new things, and building my confidence back up. What I'm so scared about is fucking this whole process up with a relationship, I don't want to fail at another relationship, and it's really made me scared to be in one. Also how do I learn to be invested in someone, and the growth of "us" and still take care of myself, and still follow my routine? Pete, gave me some really good advice, he told me how "Wide eyed" I was when I first moved here, and I really needed time to adjust to the city and the men here. He could tell I was finding my groove here and he was really proud of me, but he was also able to impart some good advice for me. I just have to balance everything, and be OPEN about what I'm doing and communicate that to my Boyfriend or Partner.

Where I'd like to be is in a friendship, that will blossom into a relationship. I want someone to learn about me, and I learn about them. Actually, date. No rushed sex, no co-habitation. Everything happens so fast here, that I want to slow the process down. Get to know me, be patient with me, and vice versa. Build a strong bond. I'm wrapping up my 20's and for me I'm looking to be able to build a steady relationship with a guy, that will lead to a future as "US" and "WE." But right now patience. I'm not out looking for someone to cuff with for the winter months ahead, or a mr. right now. In December I'll have been single for a FULL year...and I've been loving it. I've dated, and gone out on dates, all good, some shady, but good learning lessons. Just finding what fits for me. I went on my first date in 3 months today, it was really nice. We met for...tea, and coffee, and protein bar...yes PROTEIN bars. We sat in a garden and got to know each other. I was...very surprised. Similar backgrounds, and taste in life. We will see. Nothing is set in stone. He almost canceled the date, and I was this close from going "ghost" and acting like I forgot we discussed meeting each other today out of fear that this wasn't something I needed to do. Turns out we needed to meet other after all. Maybe this is a good friendship that's being made that might turn into more. Either way the groundwork for whatever is to happen...and it's good either way...has been laid down.


Here's to my future.

PEACE AND LOVE

P.S. Who would've thought I'd be at this place in my life? Not me. Loving this growth and process.

MUCHO KISSES WORLD! I'm going to sip on this bedtime tea and pass the hell out! MUCH LOVE!